News - Lice rescued from heads of ugly children

Hundreds of lice are being rescued from children across America, it emerged today, thanks to revolutionary new lice-saving technology developed by the National Pediculosis Association.

The SPCI has obtained shocking footage of lice being rescued from the heads of ugly kids at a secret location believed to be somewhere in the US.

Head lice are among the most oppressed members of insect society, and lice who have to cope with ugly hosts are some of the hardest hit. Lice living on the heads of ugly children are often ostracized by the insect community, becoming the objects of taunts and ridicule. Such lice often suffer from low self esteem and serious depression, and suicide attempts are not uncommon.

In contrast to previous chemical treatments, which simply warn lice against setting up home in the hair of ugly children, the new "Licemeister™" allows safe relocation of the insects to the heads of more aesthetically pleasing hosts.

It is anticipated that the free relocations will help rejuvenate lice communities in the lower socio-economic bracket.

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Video of lice being liberated from ugly children